Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Unlikely to be around much in 2024


Specialist Reporter + Intermediate Club Player

Status: Offline
Posts: 2421
Date:
Unlikely to be around much in 2024


Doubt anyone is particularly interested but I'm unlikely to be visiting the forum much in 2024 as I probably won't have the time to watch tennis.

1. I watched an unhealthy number of Jodie Burrage matches in 2023 so was already having a break towards the end of 2023. 

2. My dad died unexpectedly the week before Christmas. On the Sunday he seemed a relatively healthy 80 year old that I expected to last another minimum 2 years, probably 5, just possible 10 (back in 2018 he had a sarcoma lump in his arm which became a NHS fiasco - he was a doctor until retirement - leading to a stage where death seemed a year or two away, until discovered another small cancer wasn't related to sarcoma lump). He felt an acute pain on Monday lunchtime, my brother took him to the GP late afternoon, then local hospital for tests. Got phone call from surgeon Tuesday lunchtime saying blood clot had stopped flow of blood to intestines, various surgeons had looked at scans and tests but no viable options, so he only had days left. My brother, sister and I visited him in hospital that afternoon. By that stage, the person I knew had disappeared, replaced by a somewhat confused old man. He died later that evening. 

My dad was Scottish so Andy Murray winning the US Open and Wimbledon was a big thing for him. He would watch all Andy's Slam matches and a fair number of Masters events too. He watched Emma against Cirstea and Tomljanovic at Wimbledon then didn't notice US Open was taking place until his TV told him about the 6-0 6-1 win over Sorribes-Tormo, which he thought was happening live but in reality occurred a day or two earlier. Anyway, he watched the rest of Emma's matches during the tournament and I suspect every match since then. Rewatched the US Open final several times. When it came to Katie B and Katie S, in his head they were the same person (Katie Boulter-Swan perhaps ?). I doubt he would have passed the entrance exam for being a member of this forum as rankings, points gained and lost, live rankings, entry lists etc were never something he showed any interest in. 

So I'm now in Probate hell, trying to make sense of all the things that need to be done, then have to get a house with 46 years worth of stuff in it, in a state so that it can sold (My mum died over 20 years ago), while not adding to the stress that my brother and sister are under. I was hoping I might reach a new equilibrium in early 2025 but the more I read about Probate, even that might be optimistic. 

If I never reappear, special thanks to the posters that add a bit of detail about matches they've seen live or on tv/internet stream; off the top of my head: indiana, PaulM, Coup Droit - will be lots of others but don't have time to check. If I've been out/busy so missed matches I'm interested in, I'll first check WTA/ITF/ATP website for score and stats then come on here to see if it was a good effort in a high quality match, or a shocking performance against an opponent who wasn't playing well either. Also those posters that discussed Andy in the early years, Laura Robson (when it seemed like she might compete for Slams), Naomi Broady (during her peak years), Emma Raducanu and most recently, Jodie Burrage. 

Thanks

kundalini (not dead yet but too busy for tennis - still unable to write a brief summary)



__________________


Tennis legend

Status: Offline
Posts: 19378
Date:

Oh, Kundalini. I am so sorry for your loss. Terrible at any time, but even more cruel at this time of year. Please know you are in our thoughts.



-- Edited by Bob in Spain on Tuesday 26th of December 2023 04:35:05 PM

__________________


Club Coach

Status: Offline
Posts: 638
Date:

So sorry for your loss, Kundalini. As Bob says, you'll be in our thoughts and your insightful comments and match analyses will be much missed.

I hope that dealing with your father's affairs goes as smoothly as it can and that you find a new equilibirum soon. (If you can afford it, paid professional help with the physical "stuff" may be a good idea, based on my experience with losing a parent also with a houseful of "stuff".)



__________________
Jan


Hall of fame

Status: Offline
Posts: 7894
Date:

I am so sorry for your loss, Kundalini. Such a difficult time and, yes, lots to wade through. I hope you can get help with the practical stuff. And don't be rushed by anyone - do things at a pace you are comfortable with - advice my mother was given when my father died, which in turn I took when she died.
Hope that at some point in the future you will be able to pay the odd visit here, but in the meantime my very best wishes to you and your family.

__________________


Challenger level

Status: Offline
Posts: 2553
Date:

I too am very sorry for your loss Kundalini, the way you describe the end it must be very painful for you. My sincere condolences.

As for this site, it will be here if and when you are ready which I hope at some point you are (even if just fleeting visits)

Best Wishes

__________________

 Its really not as bad as they say :)



Futures level

Status: Offline
Posts: 1800
Date:

Condolences, and good luck with all the faff.

__________________


Tennis legend

Status: Offline
Posts: 54574
Date:

That's a very moving post, Kundalini
I feel for your father but more for you and the rest of your family having to deal with such a sudden loss (although the suddeness must be a real shock, I've seen several nasty, drawn-out deaths in my family and I hope you can maybe take some comfort that your father avoided that)
For the past year, we've also been involved in administering an estate and getting probate - it's just come through - it's not for the faint-hearted (I assume you're an executor?).
But do be kind to yourself too. If a Jodie match helps you unwind (), then treat yourself to one.
If you don't see your way to coming back, you'll be very much missed. But be safe in the knowledge that you'll still have all our ongoing good wishes.

__________________


Tennis legend

Status: Offline
Posts: 40364
Date:

So sorry for your news. Condolences to you and your family.

Thank you still for sharing with the forum and I do hope in time we see you back.here, especially for your detailed but no messing match reports.

You take care.

__________________


All-time great

Status: Online
Posts: 6646
Date:

Will miss the commentaries - but good luck smile



__________________


Strong Club Player

Status: Offline
Posts: 527
Date:

Kundalini - you'll be missed.
Such sad news about your dad and all the best over the coming months with probate and the rest.
No bad thing to take a Jodie break - sometimes easier to check post match results I find..






__________________
DF


Tennis legend

Status: Offline
Posts: 11469
Date:

So sorry to hear of your woes.


A welcome awaits here for you , anytime.

__________________


Tennis legend

Status: Offline
Posts: 39936
Date:

Really sorry to hear your sad news Kundalini. Take care and hope things work out so we see you back in 2024

__________________


All-time great

Status: Offline
Posts: 6953
Date:

So sorry for your News. The difference between probate hell and probate acceptable is a good solicitor. Please look after yourself and why not enjoy a little tennis too. Your Dad certainly wouldnt want you to be too hard on yourself.

__________________


Futures qualifying

Status: Offline
Posts: 1768
Date:

Sorry to read your sad news and hope that you can work through the probate without too much stress. Ive always enjoyed your reports - informative and knowledgeable so will miss your input to this forum. Hope you will make it back when you are ready.

__________________


Specialist Reporter + Intermediate Club Player

Status: Offline
Posts: 2421
Date:

Thanks for all the kind comments.

Just to say that my experiences to date dealing with my dad's affairs could be turned into an award winning Edinburgh festival show with the audience in hysterics.

Almost got to the stage of sending in the IHT 400 form - close to 80 pages - with instructions to the banks and building societies to send all the money to HMRC to pay (45% of the) inheritance tax, only you can't do that as the interest for the current tax year only gets added when the account is closed, so will have several accounts with relatively small amounts left in, that I will then need to deal with when the Grant of Probate finally arrives.

It is interesting that when I have had to phone a company several times, I end up getting advice that contradicts previous advice, so am left completely confused. This week a woman working for Coventry Building Society contradicted both previous advice given and the Bereavement guide that they had sent me. I had only phoned to discover the max amount I could send to HMRC. Rang again the following day to be told the initial advice and Bereavement guide were correct. A bit like Supreme Court (or similar) majority verdict.

Every form from a company seems to be written in a way so that it is unclear if I am meant to respond now or when I've got the Grant of Probate. Phone them to discover the answer and it depends which operator eventually answers the phone. In one case, the line was so terrible that I couldn't hear much of what was being said after the first minute or two. When I called back, a different person said the complete opposite of the first person (who I had spoken to the previous day as well). If a form says providing evidence of A is vital, you can pretty much guarantee that the people answering the phone will say they don't care about A. 

I unwisely thought my dad's bank would make a special effort if I turned up in person with the death certificate and his bank card. No. Waited in line for 20+ mins. Then told I needed to bring the Will and two forms of identity. One of his building societies is a few hundred metres from the bank. I also have an account with this particular building society. I got seen by the trainee/new recruit who didn't know the answer to anything. Told I had to book an appointment the following week -I couldn't manage that date - so ended up almost 2 weeks later. Then had to wait beyond the arranged time as the manager of the branch was the only person sufficiently skilled to deal with this type of situation and she was serving customers while 4 more staff stood around looking as though they weren't doing anything.

Life and pension companies seem to get taken over/merged almost every year leading to total confusion. My Dad had a policy with a company called Crescent, who became something else, then at some stage the same policy was with Alba, then most recently Phoenix. In order to get answers to questions you need to know the history of the policy, as otherwise telephone person 1 asks questions then after 5 mins says "sorry I can't deal with this policy. You need to phone this number". Telephone person 2 follows the same pattern. Telephone person 3 repeat. Finally person 4 is able to start the process to inform them of the death. That wasn't an hour well spent. This company later told me the value of the policy at date of death was Z, then this month deposited a slightly lower amount in my building society account (and sent letter) so I phoned to check the appropriate value to write on the IHT 400 form. I was told the value at date of death was the same amount they had sent me.

One of my initial calls was to Halifax as my dad had a credit card from them in his wallet. Over 45 mins spent answering mind numbing questions. Two weeks ago the estate received a payment (from Phoenix) so I thought I will pay off the credit card debts; M & S done easily, likewise Tesco Bank. On to Halifax. Another 45 mins spent answering the same questions as in early Jan. Their computer system is so useless that the information evidently got lost/forgotten. Told I couldn't pay off the amount owed at that time. Instead I would have to wait until the Bereavement team accounts people dealt with the account which would take the standard 15 to 20 working days. This week phoned Halifax to check the balance at date of death (needed for IHT 400 form) of an account my dad had forgotten still existed - most probably because he tried to close it only for interest to be added later thus keeping it alive - only to be told they had written off the debt (£53). If they had done that in early January I would have thought highly of them, yet by requiring me to answer the same set of questions, I view them as being completely incompetent.

Yesterday spent 25 mins waiting for a real person working for HMRC inheritance tax helpline to answer the phone. After answering various security questions, got the first of my questions helpfully answered then a computer voice said "thanks for calling. Goodbye", call ended. Phoned back a bit later, another 25 mins wait before a human answered the phone. Other days, the computer gives instructions for a few mins then says "We're busy. Goodbye" My best was a 11 minute wait, having phoned at 9.03 am (they open at 9 am).

How do you tell the difference between a company that takes 20 working days to respond to anything and a company that has simply forgotten ? One Life and Pensions company simply forgot about sending a form for one of the two policies my dad had with them.

Did the estate agent that mentioned a probate valuation figure during the 45 mins he spent looking around the house and garden, intend to send a letter or email too, or was that it ? I pop into the shop on route to the bakery on Saturdays. The Saturday staff don't know the answer to anything. They tell me they will get co-owner (who did valuation) to call me on Monday. Didn't happen. I email him on Tuesday, perhaps 3 weeks after his visit. He replies on Saturday to let me know I will receive a letter by X. It arrived a couple of days after this deadline. I got two estate agents to give probate valuations. They differ by £200K. I have chosen a mid-point valuation (or average of the two figures) for the IHT 400 form - it is £50K above the £1m figure that my dad estimated the house to be worth, though can't recall how many years ago that was. He used to keep track of prices local houses were sold for. Of course HMRC wouldn't be impressed if I wrote "dad thought it was worth £1m a year or two ago."

Estimating the value of household goods is beyond me. Several items are either worth £50 to £100 or absolutely nothing. There is no way to tell at this stage. Blu-rays yet to be unwrapped that cost between £10 and £15 now have an average value of £1. DVDs and CDs more like 10p to 30p on average. Lost patience so just came up with a number that might be far too high or ridiculously low. No art collections, paintings, items worth £1,500 or more.

We are in a fortunate position in that my dad was a consultant radiologist then clinical director so earned a good salary, leaving a decent inheritance for me, my brother and sister, once this whole process has been completed. We also had the password for his computer, his email, finally guessed the code to unlock his phone after 4 or 5 failed attempts. While he did not expect to die, he had written a list of his assets that he updated periodically, though wasn't able to keep track of all the name changes of Life and Pensions companies or those magic tricks that turn 444 shares into 337 and had written his Will 23 years ago, when my Mum wrote hers, in the knowledge that she was dying of cerebral secondaries of breast cancer. He also kept almost every document he ever received (both helpful and not) including all the documents related to my Mum's probate and had already handed us a print out of the inheritance tax nil rate band and residence nil rate band rules, including my Mum's unused percentage (he got the figures slightly wrong as for unknown reasons he missed a couple of £1000 gifts given to nephews and nieces in my mum's will) and the ability to apply her residence nil rate band even though it didn't exist when she died. I have no idea how people who don't have this information cope. While I'm in favour of inheritance tax, the system is completely crazy. When my Mum died, my dad dealt with all the admin side.

Lots more that I've missed out, mostly following a similar pattern. From memory, there might have been 3 or 4 easy to deal with companies/government agencies. Hour after hour reading the relevant inheritance tax forms and notes. Helped my sister paint 3 rooms in her new home, she was moving her stuff in yesterday but apparently still continuing today, as her boyfriend isn't well so wasn't sufficiently organised.

Regarding tennis: I watched 8 mins highlights of Emma's matches in Australia + New Zealand. My phone told me Jodie had won the opening set of her Aus Open 1st round so I started to watch only for her to collapse completely. 



-- Edited by kundalini on Friday 23rd of February 2024 10:22:56 PM

__________________
1 2 3  >  Last»  | Page of 3  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse
Powered by ActiveBoard